Sweethearts~
Jieun felt her heart drop, splitting in two as it fell. He didn’t want her….of course he wouldn’t, who would? The shame and humiliation she felt came out in the form of tears that burned her eyes.
“I-It’s fine Jonghyun.” She said, stepping away from the wall and turning her back on him so he wouldn’t see her tears.
“I need to go home now.”
She left without another word, waiting until she was around the corner before starting to run. Rain had started to fall, blurring her vision even more. She didn’t know how long she kept running, but finally had to stop and catch her breath. She stood alone on a street corner, completely drenched and utterly alone.
“Jieun,” Jonghyun gasped as his girlfriend ran for her life, like Jonghyun was a monster. When she was out of sight, Jonghyun could literally feel the tears staining his cheeks and finally bent on his knees. He chew on the insides of his cheek as he tried to rule out the thought of running after her. They live in the same building anyways, she couldn’t possibly have gone anywhere else, could she?
Still, there was a sense of urgency in him when he dashed to the building’s garden because that’s probably the first place Jieun would head to. He was stopped however at a street junction. The heavy downpour made it hard for Jonghyun to see through but there was a lonely figure at the opposite side, was that Jieun?
“Jieun!” God, he had to fix this before anything could happen. He made no hesitation to cross the street but failed to hear the oncoming vehicle and the next thing he knew, his eyelids were feeling heavier than it usually does and something warm was soaking him through his clothes.
Taemin…
I should reaffirm this rumor with Lee Sooman though…
Hey, Minho! I call dibs on Taemin.
Sweethearts~
Jonghyun finally grasped the entire situation, he was making out with his girlfriend in a dark alley in public. Did this meant he trusted her? Did this mean he loves her just like how he loved his parents? This intense loving, was it the same Jonghyun had felt when he loved his parents? Panicked, he could suddenly sense the growing bulge in his pants and pulled his hips away from Jieun but continued tasting Jieun’s mouth, her sweet salive mixing with his. “Jieun,” Jonghyun gasped, his half-hooded eyes looking up to match hers when he pulled away from their tonguing kiss. “I’m so sorry, I can’t do this. I… think we’re rushing… and..” he stopped, just thinking about how he fucked everything up. The sudden thought of loving Jieun, ruined the whole fucking date. He had planned this really, take Jieun out, make out or have sex with her (whichever he felt like) and wake up the next day with Jieun in his arms. He pulled away from Jieun, uneasiness suddenly feeling him cause he ruined the date. He ruined a make out session, fuck Kim Jonghyun’s life.
Sweethearts~
What is Love || Jonghyun & Kai
“Yes, I’m aware of that, Jonghyun. Why do you think I don’t date? Too many sentiments and too much pain for someone you loved so much. And don’t you think I miss my teammates too? Doesn’t everyone here miss theirs? I trained with them, lived with them, ate with them, played with them. I spent something of my life with them and they’ve become a part of me, too. It’s not like you’re the only one going through this. Everyone is fighting their own battles, but maybe yours is just more amplified. We’ve all been pulled apart by the merger. Don’t tell me it’s not easy to get over someone I loved. I know it’s not easy, but you just deal with it,” Kai changed his position again and was now sitting up against the wall next to Jonghyun. He realized his voice has risen a little dangerously and was now accompanied by an edgy tone. Jihyun, why did she still occupy his thoughts when she clearly proved herself of being a bitch? He was over her, he had to be. He was stupid for being so committed it didn’t do well to dwell on the past. He pushed the thoughts of her away and cleared his throat. Keeping a steady tone, he continued, “And most of the time, I don’t even trust people, but I pretend like I do cause there’s less problems that way. So I guess I should feel honored that you trust me better than your girlfriend. I would say the same for you, but I don’t have a girlfriend so… I trust you more than my parents.” He nodded as if there was actually a legitimate connection between the two.
“You know what, let’s just shut up. We’re so pathetic talking about this but not doing anything about it.” Jonghyun stood up, the brief mention of parents made Jonghyun shudder. He still remembered what he did and it was okay if Kai misunderstood but the last thing he’d do is to tell anyone about his past. Jonghyun wasn’t keeping his own promise when he said he’ll be as closed up as possible and the last thing he would want is for anyone to know his secret. He would have betrayed himself, and probably lead himself to self-destruction.
“Well, whatever, I can always listen to your problems as a return for you to listening to me but whatever can return the favor, just come to me… I’m gonna sleep again. I hate all these problems clouding my mind.” Jonghyun shrugged.
Sweethearts~
What is Love || Jonghyun & Kai
Kai watched as Jonghyun slowly opened up in front of him. Was this really how he lived everyday? Were these the thoughts that he always tried to push into the back of his mind, ignoring them so he can at least seem fine? Kai continued listening in silence to the other’s words. Damn, how could he handle all that? Kai sighed as he heard Jonghyun’s last comment and shrugged. He turned onto his back and faced the ceiling before answering, “Well, to be honest, I really do miss my teammates. They made everything seem easier since we had each other but since the merger, I haven’t really seen them. I can’t say it’s hell without them, but it would’ve been better if they were here. I guess you just focus on other things while you wait for them instead of just how much misery and despair you’re in without them. Focus on other things like Jieun or I don’t know, weapons? Don’t give up so easily. Maybe one day the odds will change and they’ll come back.” He continued staring up at the ceiling as he finished, letting the silence envelope them. He tried his best to give a good response, but honestly, he didn’t know how to comfort people. He just drank his own problems off, letting the alcohol numb his senses and soften the pain’s sharp edges, making everything seem less realistic than it actually was.
Yeah, it was all because of the merger people lost their teammates, Jonghyun told himself as he remembered Jessica’s and Yoona’s exact same situation. But why hasn’t he had lost his teammates immediately after the merger? It was one thing that he believed in and that one thing he always loved to tell himself as motivation, that all the five of them loved each other as if they were all destined to be together but that destiny was a hoax as they all left one by one. Kai was right though, he should stop thinking about the negatives and start thinking about other things like how to commit to Jieun as he glanced down at the ring he couldn’t give her. But what if, he shuddered at the thought, what if they all came back and he no longer needed Jieun because he only depended on her for company. He glanced at Kai before mentally slapping himself, no, he’s not that type of guy. He’s not the type who gives his heart openly because someone was missing from his life. Or perhaps he was, perhaps he opened up to his four teammates because he had no parents and now that they were gone, he depended on Jieun for the same love and comfort his parents or his teammates used to give. He felt something accumulating in his chest before sighing, hoping to rid of the stone there and said, “It’s hard, Kai. It’s not that easy to get over people you have loved over the years. That’s why breakups are hard to handle too because it’s just not in a day or so you can forget someone completely and besides, I’m not the type who play people for their nice side, I take time to trust them and open up. Just like how I am with you, but only because you’re a good gun shooter and I respect that. Even I am not this open about personal shit with Jieun even though we’re in a relationship.”
But Kai did have a point, you can’t expect things to be like this all the time, maybe one day somebody, anybody, would come back and Jonghyun should be prepared to welcome him back.
Well, will you look at that? Some frog is back to the agency.
Don’t expect me to welcome you back once again. Just because we had those… talks, doesn’t make us closer or more bonded. I still blame you for Onew’s, Key’s and even Taemin’s disappearance. I’ve been searching for them for days, weeks, months and yet there is no obvious clue except you. You, are the reason why everything that I depended on crashed into fine dust that I can’t re-piece my life back again anymore. I think you know me well enough that I never talked to anyone except you guys. Well, I’m treating you like a stranger now.
There’s a few rules I’d like to tell you about though.
- Firstly, no interaction with my girlfriend. You keep your hands off her and in no way should you influence her.
- Secondly, don’t you dare touch Jessica. She’s gone through lots of shit and I don’t see the reason why she should suddenly cheer up because you finally come back to us.
Like that’s good news. - Lastly, I call dibs on Kai and L.Joe. They’re gonna be fine weaponry agents one day, I don’t want you to tarnish their reputations.
Minho, I know you’re sorry for all the shit and that Suzy’s more important to you than us but I never thought you would go and break the brotherhood. Don’t come back to me with those pitiful eyes saying you miss me. Just look at what you’ve done.
Don’t come back to me now cause I really won’t hesitate to fucking shoot you this time.
